YMESSED UP LIFE
Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 1:24 PM
i got to watch movie yest.. well it wasnt MI 3 nor was it wif ma dar.. 15 May 2006.. the luv of ma life walk out of ma life.. So unexpectedly.. So abruptly.. speechless and wordless.. tt was how i felt like someone takin ma breath away in an instant.. shedding tears wasnt ma way of expressing sadness.. sorrow.. but on tt day .. even the tough guy cldnt haf the slightest control over his feelings.. pouring out his tears .. lookin at her so hard like as though i wld nv c her face again.. many thoughts race thru ma mind.. feelin emotional.. " ..teach mi bridge.. how bout goin to the chalet after exams.. catching a movie this fri? ".. suddenly these plans simply died.. shattered into many fragments..
" life has to go on.." she said.. i thot how cld i move on when itz like the air tt i breathe has jux being taken away so suddenly.. it was living hell fer three days.. perhaps comparing to an asthmatic person gasping fer air.. breathing in all tt he has got.. nv b4 i din look 4ward to sch.. her heart-warming smiles during assembly.. her quick glances during lectures .. how i miz them so so much.. itz true tt smiling is easier than frowning.. guess on those particular days.. frowning came to take itz place all by itself.. In sch.. no one reali understand ma feelings perhaps.. i haf neglected ma cliques too much tt they dun understand mi.. fer the three days.. all i hear was.." relac la.. " .." take it easy man..".. dun bluff mi leh..".. " Oh... I see.." if im consoled by such words.. plx take ma life.. im not convinced..
i haf thot thru hard fer these past few days.. and i realise that perhaps.. we still can remain as good frens.. i will nv regret fer knowing u.. u will always be in the deepest chamber of ma heart.. i still miz u though we aint wad we use to be.. i guess wad i regret the most is not treating u betta and be oblivious of the little things tt means so so much to u... fer tt.. im sorry but now sorry seems to be the hardest words.. it cant bring back the sweet memories nor can it mend the broken heart.. hope tt god gif us strength to take away all our sorrow and focus on the important things in life..
Good frens we are now and i met her fer lunch at sakae sushi yest.. it was pretty emotional since sakae sushi rekindle the pleasant memories we haf dere.. she is betta now jux a lil prob on her appetite( eat well.. dun let it affect ur appetite :) ) i guess as good frens we still can enjoy normal things.. like eatin together and perhaps.. watching movies( hope to catch da vinci code next week..) well.. it aint tt bad afterall.. i respect her decision and life has to go on.. ma feelings fer her are still pretty deep but itz sthing i haf to try to adapt fer the rest of ma life.. mabbe.. occasionally i wld shed a tear or two to remember how those two years we had were wonderfully spent.. cos i nv regret those moment..
Heaven knows
she's always on my mind
from the time i wake up til i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know
And though she's so far away
it just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do i start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep tellin' me
that if you really love her
You've got to set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do i start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And Maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide-awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time i act so brave
I'm shakin inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
I believed there is a rainbow after every storm.
And Only heaven knows wad the future holds.
she's always on my mind
from the time i wake up til i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know
And though she's so far away
it just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do i start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep tellin' me
that if you really love her
You've got to set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do i start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And Maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide-awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time i act so brave
I'm shakin inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
I believed there is a rainbow after every storm.
And Only heaven knows wad the future holds.
[ sO LeAve mi High.. DUn LeAve mi DrY..]