Saturday, May 27, 2006 - 8:08 AM

holla pple.. been almost 2 weeks since the dreadful incident happened, in which brought detrimental and overwhelming effect on this poor kiddo.. lol.. well pple.. i haf got move on.. seriously.. kevin gotta wake up from ur lalala land.. u aint in any kinda dreamland filled with pleasant fantasies anymore.. no more of those stuff where u once enjoy.. no more lookin 4ward to those wonderful days.. itz the 'A' levels u got to focus on now.. If the incident was meant for the good of u.. u haf gotta prove it.. and prove it u will..

well.. recently heard bout the good news tt ma cuz can entered her choice in NUS.. haha.. well.. i reali envy her.. congrats gal fer the hard work put in and eventually making ur dreams come true.. if deres ath to learn from her.. perhaps i want to be as determined and focused like her.. and in the end makin everyone happy and mabbe to most of all.. i want to be the happiest person on graduation day.. i haf let down pple tt im so dear to.. perhaps itz ma results and ma studying attitude which is the root of the incident.. i haf disappoint pple.. and regretting will nv take back wad is done.. this is wad i deserved.. i get reprimandings from ma teachers.. naggings from ma parents.. everything came to take place at the 'right' time.. where the last joy of entertainment ended fer mi.. the A division competition.. suddenly.. it feels like the debt accumulated during the time of enjoyment jux compel me to the state i am now.. at times i ponder " why the heck am i in JC when at the end of the day.. everything seems so screwed".. come to dink bout it.. i dink i make it screwed when itz actually givin me a new hope.. a stepping stone to success in my future..

I noe itz still not late to start.. and at the same time.. too late to start enjoying.. i guess the incident thot me a lotza of things.. when i dink of it.. i soemhow link it to the A levels.. kevin..is this wad u wanna feel at the end of the day.. feelin low and down.. and no one dere to understand u.. wld u wanna feel hurt AGAIN?? u haf been hurt once already.. wld u wanna experience it again.. once is bad enugh.. twice is definitely goin over the limits.. well.. i haf to get on ma feet again after the setback.. no matter wad.. i haf to set ma mark and let the teachers noe im trying hard.. losing her is a great loss.. losing out in ma A levels...... i reali can't imagine.. hopefully.. im not bullshiting here.. i can do it.. but darn.. im a lazy bum hu jux wish to see gloriuos food on the table .. typical mi i guess.. well fer the last 158 days.. i will haf to sacrifice but perhaps with some badminton in the middle.. haha.. jux to relax fer awhile.. kk then.. time to peace off.. oh yeah.. i wanna thank all the frenz hu noe im in this deep shyt.. lol.. and trying hard to understand the thing im goin thru now.. u may not comprehend the whole crap but THX GUYS!!!U guys are Great Pple to hang out.. cherish u pple.. :)

[ sO LeAve mi High.. DUn LeAve mi DrY..]